Quality Time is 80% "Garbage Time"

Bhavani Mohan
Dec 4, 2021
4 min read

Updated: Dec 9, 2021

Trust me... It's definitely NOT some trash talk!

Remember?... It's supposed to be Good Rant. Be rest assured!

The other day I came across a random article in newsfeed - like everyone else - I was not expecting anything worthwhile - like everyone else - I clicked it involuntarily nevertheless 🤷🤷🤷

It had a rather weird sub title though - something something "Garbage Time". I thought to myself, must be some funny write up about how screwed up our times are 🤪😂🤣

Well, It turned out to be 100% opposite of that.

It made me realise Quality Time is 80% "Garbage Time" !

What's with all this percentage obsession?... like it's some kinda health drink advertisement??! 🤔🤔🤔

Give XYZ drink to your little ones and they will grow 5% taller, 6% stronger, 7% sharper!

5% taller compared to what???

A Cat?! No Idea!

Hopefully all that information is buried in the 80 pages long "Fine Print" of the Ad research which no one ever reads. Point is, as long as the explanation is covered somewhere in the fine print, we are okay being bombarded with some "fauuuncy" percentages. Don't we?...

Knowing the percentage somehow makes us feel comfortable...

I feel, we got soooo used to it that at some point we started mentally calculating percentages for every thing we do & every data thrown at us. 70% chance for precipitation today to 99% chance of punching in late to work! We tend to believe we are being "Analytical" and "In Control" by doing so ... 🤓🤓🤓

Data Analyst / Scientists - they are probably doing some deep digging! To uncover a hidden treasure trove maybe, Who knows? But, am not talking about them. Am talking about the common folks who are obsessed with numbers and percentages for no apparent reason like the one below!

[Meeting Room Scenario]

Boss 1: What's the status of this prospect?

Boss 2: It's 80% in our favor. We are continuously following up... Very bright!

Boss 1: How sure are you?

Boss 2: 100% sure, they are just running the final numbers with the board.

Boss 1: I just got info that it's re-tendered...

Boss 2: OHHHH! No issues, we will re-plan accordingly!

ME : [ABSOLUTE Straight Face but uncontrollably laughing inside my head!!!]

Am not laughing because of the re-tender anticlimax...

Am laughing because am wondering which crazy formula did Boss 2 use to arrive at these seemingly convincing numbers all along!!! LOL!

That's clearly not how probability or percentages work! Mathematically speaking, one must know all the variables, the PART AND THE WHOLE to compute these! We don't fully know those, but we still tend to compute it with absolute certainty. We declare numbers as though it was a simple calculation of picking a Red Ball(Prospect) from an imaginary bag that has 8 Red Balls & 2 Green Balls! 🤷🤷🤷

Who are we kidding?? Everyone knows It's impossible to compute the actual probability or percentage status for most situations/targets in our lives! YET, we all do it day in and day out matter-of-factly when there is no-fact-in-the-matter!

LOL!!! How Uber Cool?!! 😎😎😎

Our inclination to use Probability, Percentage AND Plan is... What can I say... "An Absolute Obsession!" 🙊🙊🙊

We are all conditioned that way! Is the "percentage" true? It's "probably" not true! YET, Everyone somehow understands that it's primary purpose is to establish some imaginary point of reference for us to align our "Plans" . These numbers convert "Subjective Things" - which are beyond our control into "Objective Things" - seemingly under our control. That way, we tell ourselves to draw an action plan. Otherwise, we will be aimlessly disoriented, throwing darts in the dark! Right?

So, let's dig into what's the elaborate point am trying to establish with the 80% "Garbage Time"

Jerry Seinfeld, the famous comedian says this in relation to spending time with his kids:

I don't want quality time. I want the garbage time. That's what I like. You just see the kids in their room reading a comic book and you get to kind of watch that for a minute, or when they have a bowl of Cheerios at 11 o'clock at night, when they're not even supposed to be up! Garbage time happens, that's what I love.

And that's when REAL LIFE HAPPENS.

Garbage time is when a moment is not planned and optimized to within an inch of its life. When a conversation is not fraught with meaning and purpose. When an interaction or event is not filled with expectation -- and accompanied by the resulting pressure to live up to those expectations.

When I read that , I found myself completely nodding with Absolute Certainty!

(Crazy Formula Again!)

That's when it ticked me,

Unplanned "Garbage Time" is indeed THE REAL QUALITY TIME.

I recollected all those moments which I perceived as "Quality Time"... To my surprise 8/10 times, those memories were Unplanned "Garbage Time"

"That's 80%!!!... Really ??? ... Oh Yeah!!!..."

I asked & answered myself …

You see... I had to desperately understand it in terms of numbers and percentage - To figuratively align myself... To verify if it was really making sense! Oh the obsession!

The quality time we all keep wanting and talking about, lets face it, it's mostly never structured… Because, you possibly cannot have it by planning it...

Garbage time happens when we go with the flow, just be in the moment and cherish it as it unravels itself. However mundane it maybe.

Garbage time happens when you are yourself and see others for who they really are... and in that authentic state, true friendships are formed and not forced... a simple conversation brings so much joy!...

When that happens...

Time Flows like a Meandering River...

Yet, it Feels as though the Moment has Frozen Forever...