The Lady & The Mama Elephant in the Room! (Part 2+3)

If you haven't read the Part 1 - The Lady and the Elephant in the Room - please read it before continuing.

Here's Part 2+3 in one go this time, no serial saga. Check.

There was also a very “thoughtful” suggestion by Mr.NEXT. FIRST, a little background without invading any privacy – Mr. & Mrs. Next are brilliant entrepreneurs & parents to two great kids. They are so inspirational in many ways & the closest textbook example for 50% partners / parents, at least in my circle of friends & family. Well, Mr.Next seemed to be “genuinely” curious about –

Why women spend so much time planning how to dress for business meetings as much as what to present in the meeting?

He wanted an open-ed on that. That’s getting covered too. Check.

Now, let’s continue from where we left off. Once the baby elephant was “handled”, the focus shifts to the agenda of the meeting. In my field, these meetings are design workshops meant to understand the client requirements / pitch our ideas. I really enjoy these workshops, well, not the part where we agree to disagree on the minutes, but the fun brainstorming part that happens before. I profusely apologize for making you green, but it’s real fun. As Architects, we get to draw colourful bubbles on butter sheets for a living! Of course, that’s not the only thing we do and of course we don’t call it “Bubbles”, No! we do call it that. Well, we also have a cool name for it, “Zoning Diagram”. :D

Now, that paints the complete picture I suppose – Fun day with bubbles!

I could be totally imagining this, but in every one of those first-in-person client meeting, I used to get a feeling that they literally look through me, at least in the beginning. It is like am invisible or something. Am kinda 9% sure that it’s because my hair was out of place and am kinda 90% sure that it’s because am the only “Lady” in the room. The questions get directed elsewhere by default, by elsewhere I mean other men in the room. It’s like they have already made up their mind that am there to just nod along while am actually there to spearhead it. No, I wasn’t imagining. True Story.

Having a woman in a business meeting is uncommon and maybe we are not still comfortable with that. But, we will never become comfortable with it if we keep unconsciously pushing her to the back seat. It’s a vicious cycle, isn’t it?

That’s the Mama Elephant we need to deal!

After that first meeting, when we walk out of that meeting room, they completely change their perception & appreciate the value I brought to the table. They look me in the eye & shake hands. THIS time, the handshake is no longer awkward. Frankly, I have started secretly enjoying these first meetings even though they look through me in the beginning. Because, in the end, I know they were dazzled.

My intent is not to generalize here, am just saying let’s not make presumptions either ways & try to be unbiased. That’s all it takes to become more comfortable. : )

End of Part 2

Now, here comes the much-awaited open-ed on Mr.Next’s curious question -

Why women spend so much time planning how to dress for business meetings as much as what to present in the meeting?

Those of you who know me from school, college, or my early office years also know very well that am a lousy dresser. There was only one tiny problem with the fashion sense I had. There was no fashion in it! I was getting some decent grades at school, managed some medals in college, so I was not too bothered.

But when I entered the corporate world, after many years I realized something. Something that was NOT a sheer coincidence. You see, the room at the top has a seat for many categories of men - the outstanding performer, the smooth talker, the top performer, the well groomed, the intellectual, the go-getter, the calm one, the expert, the vital contributor. But, I never saw so many categories of women in that room. I realized, unless the woman had characteristics of all categories or at least most of the categories, she may not even get a chance to enter that room. If she doesn't enter, how will she get to dazzle?

On a personal note, I had to learn, learn fast, I still am a lazy lousy dresser on most days. But, for business meetings, I do make sure I spend the time planning how to dress, because I gotta nail it every which way... : )

End of Part 3

PS : Mr.Next, Am sure EVERYONE in the room including her is happy that she spent the time dressing up so well. That’s a Win-Win deal right on the table! Just enjoy man! ; )